The baby and I failed our second non-stress test today and had to have another ultrasound. I tell you, by the--let me count, what is this, my sixth ultrasound this pregnancy--the wonder and glory of it wears off. The u/s tech gave me still more pictures of the baby today, and I just didn't care. Put the baby in my arms, I'll get all misty-eyed, but I'm just too familiar with Uterine Guy at this point.
And I'm wondering whether these NSTs are worthwhile. I have a baby in there who is quiet most of the day, and then gets very busy for hours in the late evening, so I'm sure we're going to keep failing the NSTs and needing additional ultrasounds to confirm that the baby still has a beating heart, functioning kidneys, a diaphragm that moves like the baby is breathing, and so on. In the meantime, it's going to be twice a week that I lose half a day at the doctor's office, and the tests themselves are anxiety-provoking, because one just can't help but wonder, every time a test is administered, whether there might be bad news. I'm scheduled for two more of these things before I see my doctor next, and I might call tomorrow and ask to speak to the doctor about what good, exactly, they're doing, and whether they're worth it. Because so far, they just feel like an energy-sucking waste of time. Energy and time I can't spare just now.
Am I exhausted and cranky? You bet. Going to sleep a lot tonight. Tomorrow will be better, I'm sure, as no medical professionals play a role in my day.
Posted by Su Penn at March 18, 2004 09:52 PM | TrackBack