Eric is fed, diapered, and sleeping soundly; the dishwasher is running; Eric's laundry is in the dryer; our bills are paid; thank-you notes for baby gifts are completely up-to-date; there are six bottles of formula cooling in the fridge; and David and Scott won't be home from work for an hour, so I will grab a few minutes to jot down some thoughts.
I have finally cured the painting contractor of his habit of calling me "Mrs. Penn" by wearing an old Lesbian Avengers T-shirt all day. Now he calls me "Mrs...er...Su." Maybe it's an improvement.
He came in for his check this afternoon, and did something lots of people do: admired Stevie and then asked how much we paid for him. I never know what to say to such a rude question. This guy saved me by guessing as high as $10,000, which allowed me to say, "Oh, no, nothing like that," and while I was saying that, I came up with the true yet evasive comment that Stevie's cage cost more than he did.
Yesterday I burst into tears at a Quaker committee meeting when a nice woman asked me the completely inoffensive question "Are you nursing?" Sigh. I am doing fine in general but that is the second time this week I cried when telling someone I am bottle-feeding my baby. I managed not to cry, however, the one time anyone said anything judgmental, a co-worked of David's who, when I commented that Eric had dried formula around his mouth, said, "Don't say 'formula' around my wife, she'll give you a lecture." I didn't cry, but I did spend the better part of the day wishing I had said something like, "I hope she would have the good sense not to lecture someone whose circumstances she doesn't know." Later, I thought of a response I'm sure Miss Manners would have approved of: "Oh, no, I've met your wife and she's much too gracious to do anything so unkind."
Another clueless person I encountered this week was another Quaker--the same woman who was the immediate impetus for my decision last winter to answer all pregnancy-related inquiries with "everything is fine" instead of offering details that would open me up to "Is that safe for the baby?" In this case, Eric started fussing while I was on the phone with her. She said, "I hear the baby." I said, "He's having some intestinal gas that hurts him." She said, "Oh, that's bad. But wait until the colic starts. That's much worse. Though the ear infections are the absolute worst, as I remember. Wait until you get to those!" Thanks! I managed to cut her off before she carried me through a full ten years of parental tribulations.
Actually, we are happy to say that we are pretty much out of the woods as far as colic goes. My Quaker friend's dire predictions notwithstanding, if it hasn't started by now it's not likely to. Thank goodness. Last night our friend Merry still managed to look haggard 21 years later while describing how her son James had not slept for more than 45 minutes at a stretch when he was six months old.
Eric had a brief fussy period and is now sleeping in his sling on my chest.
We have learned not to say, "He can't possibly be hungry; he just ate." Last night he ate a full meal 90 minutes after eating a full meal. Other times he'll go four hours and then eat two ounces. And some nights he is up every three hours, but Saturday night he ate at 10, again at 3 and then at 6. I think up only once between 10 and 6 is pretty good. If only he would make a habit of it. But I am not allowed to complain; having gotten a relatively easy baby, I can only count my blessings.
I should say, though, that even an easy baby is not easy. Though I log a lot of hours sleeping, the sleep interruptions do take their toll. And the constant interruptions of everything around the clock, too. Which only instills in me greater respect and sympathy for parents for whom it is not so easy--the parents of the colicky, for instance, or even the merely fussy, or even the merely very active baby. And greater sympathy for those who are reluctant or ambivalent parents. Pregnancy and motherhood are too hard to be undertaken by any but the truly committed, I think. As we have daily proof all around us.
Enormous progress has been made on the holding up of the head. Eric has in fact reached that dangerous stage during which he can lift and fling his head but not control it very well, so it is necessary to be vigilant when holding him so that he doesn't fling his head and end up being dragged right off your lap by the momentum.
I am recovering from a busy last week. Not only did I have an appointment or visitors every day, but I went to Ann Arbor twice, once on my own with just Eric to visit Adrianne, and then with David, again for me to visit Adrianne and for David to visit Eli. David took Eric with him, my longest time away from the baby since his birth. I was twitchy but survived. I felt quite bold going as far as Ann Arbor on my own, and it was nice to get out of the house--very restful to be in someone else's house where, if there are chores to be done, they are none of my concern. And lovely to have a quiet visit with Adrianne.
People keep telling me re: baby care that "it gets easier!" but I have to say, after hanging out with Adrianne and Noah, that caring for a 15-month-old looks a bit tricky to me. He's mobile! He runs surprisingly fast! And he likes to do it, so he doesn't always want to sit still when his mothers want him to.
This week I have no appointments at all, just a short list of light housework, a couple of errands, two novels I am halfway through, three magazines that have arrived in the last two days, and the possibility of making a start on a writing project I have in mind. Today I did a few productive things but also spent a lot of time reading, a little time sleeping, and a medium amount of time just plain sitting around. A good day. When David and Scott get home (soon, and bearing dinner), I will eat a quick meal and then shower, and then relax for the evening in the comfortable knowledge that the essential chores--Eric's laundry and preparing bottles for the night--are done. I hope there is some Nintendo in my immediate future.
Posted by Su Penn at July 10, 2003 09:15 AM | TrackBack