The last couple of days I suddenly got exhausted. I was sleeping all the time (well, all the possible time) and had no energy for anything. I figured it was four weeks of sleep deficit catching up with me, or the long-term aspect of my recovery from pregnancy and childbirth, but yesterday I realized I was depressed. Being depressed is unpleasant. I find it's better to be sad for a reason and know why than to be sad for no reason. But it seems to be lifting already. I felt some better yesterday evening, and this morning I feel semi-normal although I am tired because Eric is eating every 2 1/2 to 3 hours around the clock. The fact that I am writing this says something, as well as having found my morning routine quick and manageable, whereas yesterday it was almost more than I could handle to feed the dogs and Stevie in the morning.
David has spent the last couple of days sending me off to bed at every opportunity. He is good at taking care of me that way, and so is Scott. Scott has been busy adjusting to his full-time job, a task made more difficult because his work hours are not congruent with his natural bodily rhythms, so he hasn't continued with the extra housework and shopping he did the first couple of weeks we were home with Eric, but he has been supportive of me when I've needed to talk through the loss of my breastmilk for the millionth time, and the other morning he took the baby away from me and started his feeding while I was doing something else. The other night at dinner, when my dinner came just as Eric was ready for his, Scott ate and then asked if I wanted him to feed Eric while I ate, and I said, "No, I'm fine," and kept feeding Eric while my dinner sat there getting cold. Scott finally said, "You should eat some protein, let me take the baby," and I did. And it was good to eat some food. David and Scott are both helping me remember to take care of myself and not to feel that I have to do everything for Eric.
Last week, when we took Eric to have his head manipulated (hard to believe it was only last week. It feels like a very long time ago), we mentioned to the doctor that Eric is a mellow baby. She said, "Mellow babies come from mellow parents." We have been discussing that statement, and while we believe that we are, so far, mellow parents, and would like to take credit for Eric's general lack of fussiness, we have decided we can't. Our theory is that it's perfectly possible for non-mellow parents to take a mellow baby and turn it into a screaming ball of stress and misery, but we suspect it's a lot harder to make a non-mellow baby mellow.
Posted by Su Penn at June 23, 2003 08:59 AM | TrackBack